Near President's Day I have pulled out an old $1.48 copy of Abraham Lincoln: President for the People by Larry Weinberg. I love Mr. Weinberg's writing about Abe's childhood.
Abe and his sister were the third generation of Lincolns who lived quite primitively in the forests of Kentucky and then Indiana. The Lincoln cabin, which had a dirt floor and drafty spaces in between the logs, was their frontier home. Abe was nine years old when his mother died of milk disease. His father, Tom, was sad. After harvest was over, Tom left the kids in the custody of a 17 year old orphan boy, and without explanation, headed through the woods. The children, aged 9 and 11, foraged for food and lived lean for weeks and weeks as winter set in. When Tom returned in December, he brought a new mother and three new siblings.
The author described the first meeting of the new family, "The youngsters standing in front of the new Mrs. Lincoln were filthy. But she opened her heart to them at once and took them into her arms as if they were her own. Like her own children, they were soon well-scrubbed, well-fed, and wearing clean clothes... But Mrs Lincoln cared about much more...Sarah saw Abe's curiosity and desire to learn and (gave him opportunities at education), and also enough confidence in himself to last him all his life. Even when he became a famous politician (He said), 'All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.'"
This sweet little boy needed an advocate, a cheerleader, a director, a nurturer, stability and an opportunity. This, so that he could blossom into the man of faith, strength, brilliance, and distinction that became the Abraham Lincoln that we, generations later, are still so incredibly thankful for.
So, this weekend is Mother's Day and everyone, in increments of cards and flowers, is thankful. But outside of this annual celebration, a mother's value isn't every day understood. It is a very restless world we live in. Societal philosophy has blanketed us with questions about our worth, has stripped us of traditional roles, thrown us into a game of comparison and a search for "equality", has told us to be discontented, and even has made us a little ferocious as we collectively seek for powerful and visible ways to influence. With all of these unsettling messages, we could wonder and question whether mothering, one by one, to a very small audience, is where we can make the our life's greatest contribution.
Thank heavens for Julie Beck who once pointed out, “I think sometimes people confuse stardom with influence." (1) I might rephrase that to say, we confuse "visibility and promotion" with influence. We might believe that in order to have sway and affect in this world, we need to be out in front, loud, picketing, leading a crowd, speaking from a pulpit with a large audience, rocking a board room, running a business, or getting awards and raises. But Julie Beck said, and I would concur, that influence isn't always connected to visibility or "stardom".
A mother marches along quietly and usually without accolades and fanfare. But don't mistake that for lack of influence. Joseph F. Smith once explained, "...(children) drink into the spirit of their mothers, and the influence of the mother over the children is the most enduring impression that can be made. There is nothing so imperishable as the influence of the mother." (2)
Sometimes it may be a little hard to see your own significance, which makes the work faith-based, but children love and trust and quote their mothers. I have driven a lot of carpools, have taught youth classes, and have had a lot of little visitors in my home. From my interaction with children, this I know-- what mothers teach and say and do shape the lens by which children see themselves and how they see the world. This makes me feel very careful. Every president and king, plumber and architect has a mother. Every single, big something is done by someone's well-cared for, enabled, loved, grown up, little child. A mother is one of the kindest gifts that God could give.
A woman's influence may start with just one little person, but it grows and spreads exponentially. Joseph F Smith said, "The...influence (of) a good mother...is like leaven cast into the measure of meal, that will leaven the whole lump... her influence extends, not only to her own children but to the associates of her children. You do not know how far your influence extends. A mother....sows the seeds...and wherever that boy or girl goes, in whatever society they mingle, the good effects of... that mother will be felt." (3)
And may I add, He is grateful for YOU! Because you are doing the same work.
A terrible modern-day miss is in not seeing that a woman's greatest power to influence comes from within family relationships. It is worth all of a woman's resources because the time, talent and energy spent therein goes forward into eternity. A child is an investment in something that is completely unbound by the world. Mothering is influence that never ends.
Happy, Happy Mother's Day. I love and admire you so much.
Mother on!
--Valerie
1- Julie B Beck, General Relief Society President, 2012 Interview with LDS Living
2- Deseret News: Semi-Weekly, 5 Jan. 1892, 3.
3- Deseret News: Semi-Weekly, 5 Jan. 1892, 3.
4- Photo by Bryan Eaton, http://coloroflincoln.com/Parents.html
