Eating Our Own

I have noticed over 46 years of being a girl that there is a natural, intuitive protective, nurturing, loyal "thing" that accompanies sisterhood.  We have our "girlfriends" and "kindred spirits", we love spending time together talking and sharing, and we have gatherings named "girl's nights out" or "girl's weekends" where we can confide and support one another. Out of this sharing is born interminable allegiance.

"Don't mess with my sistas"!!

As part of this BFF, undying-devotion of girls with their gals, we listen empathetically and charge into action.  Friends pile-on husbands or boyfriends who are unfaithful.  We sympathize in mountainous ways with a friend who is wronged.  And we stand right by the side of a woman with compassion, and with big angry faces, at any man who would disrespect or disregard.

Specific to the plague of vile Internet opportunities for men, women cry together and are broken-hearted, families weep and bend in the storm of it all, and it is not a surprise to me that through it all, "sisters" stick together in disgust and frustration.  We ought to.  It is disgusting and frustrating.

We expect great things of men and boys, and we should.  We, and God, expect them to be upstanding, moral, devoted, clean, and single-eyed.  No matter what mud and filth gums and mucks up the world we live in, we appreciate and anticipate that men will stonewall evils that hurt themselves and women so deeply.  We want them to act with discipline and resistance.

All of the above is foundational to this picture of a marvelously-adorable, back-stabbing praying mantis. Mantis' chomp on their spouses and friends.  They bite off their heads and eat 'um up.  That green guy is my little symbol tonight to express my sadness. Girls, we are eating our own.  Women are hurting women.

In horrifying numbers, men use roadside shops, quiet private rooms with an Internet browser, magazines, movies, ipods, phones, and books to browse the vile and break our hearts.  Greg tells me that when he was a Bishop,  LDS Social Services told him to expect 100% of teenage boys to have experiences with Internet scum.  Now, in the hugest, most gigantic irony of life,  none of this would be possible if women banded together, like girlfriends are so good at doing, and refuse to create and pose and write and film.  It is women who are destroying our men.  OK, blame it on a creepy, snoop or a vulgar filmmaker or an undisciplined husband, but it is women willing to sell themselves and in doing so, sell out our sisterhood.

As women, there ought to be the campaign of all campaigns urging our own to dress modestly, to refuse to be exploited, to repel and run from extracurricular relationships, to escape any opportunity to be a temptress-- even virtually, and to outright refuse to be part of the moral, spiritual, emotional destruction of our men.

In the name of "sisters", for the good of the "girlfriends", to protect love and intimacy and family, the women of this world need to stop selling each other out.

I am powerfully moved by Elder Christofferson's General Conference talk, "The Moral Authority of Women". (Oct 2013)  He stated that in the history of the world, women have played a vital role in being the moral authority.  But, today, he made clear that God sees our collective weakness, "Where once women’s higher moral standards demanded commitment and responsibility from men, we now have...relations without conscience, fatherless families, and growing poverty. Equal-opportunity promiscuity simply robs women of their moral influence and degrades all of society. In this hollow bargain, it is men who are “liberated” (I, Valerie, laugh at that irony.  They are not really liberated, they are actually set in chains in terrible bondage) and women and children who suffer most."

If I could be so bold, I hear in that paragraph a prophet who worries about women hurting women, and hurting men, and hurting family, and hurting children, and hurting our glorious earth by allowing a knock-out, run-um-off-the-road demolition of morals, values and character.  As a gender, shame on us.

Elder Christofferson pleads:
"My plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and the unique gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow. To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral force even before you have it in full measure. Take particular care that your language is clean, not coarse; that your dress reflects modesty, not vanity; and that your conduct manifests purity, not promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on the one hand if you are entertaining vice on the other."

He closed, "Dear sisters, we rely on the moral force you bring to the world."

Now, I add my own plea to all of the earth's "Girlfriends":

Dear, dear Sisters--
As women, we give life.
We would do anything to nurture and preserve our babies.
Those whom you entice with unauthorized evil, are our own creations.
They are our sons.
They are our husbands.
They are our brothers.
Leave them be.
Guard yourself.
Show restraint.
Protect what's sacred.
Let's watch each other's backs.
Let's watch over our men and boys with respect and expectation.
Let's stop eating our own.
We must, collectively, stand as a moral force in defending our marriages and families.
Sincerely, Your BFF, Valerie

Image credit: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/photo_20855734_spotted-praying-mantis-eating-another-insect-in-tamil-nadu-south-india.html'>petervick167 / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

When a Woman Has a Baby

When the kids and I arrived at the Arend Arts Center to watch "The Watsons Go to Birmingham", Greg was speaking an acquaintance, Mr Bechtold.  He was the former CMO of Proctor and Gamble and now is with Porch Light Productions making family friendly movies.  As we talked about the film we were about to see, he spoke specifically about Tonya Lewis Lee, wife of Spike Lee, who directed this movie. Mr Bechtold said that projects like this one, with purpose and principle became Tonya's life mission as soon as she had a child. Mr Bechtold said that he'd seen the same thing play out over and over again-- when a woman becomes a mother, her world-construct changes to values and education and the serious. She views life and her purpose differently. He said, "I think it is a God thing".

I think so, too.

There is something about the decision to have a baby that changes everything.  A mom has a destination for all of her innate desires to nurture and love. She wants to protect him.  She wants to shape and develop him.  Her efforts become focused on his little life and his potential in her care.  A little baby makes a woman take her needs and place them in the backseat for the rest of her life.

Monday, I visited our Crystal Bridges Art Museum and the traveling exhibit, "Angels and Tomboys".  This was a collection of 19th Century paintings and it explored perceptions and roles of girls growing up in America.  Midway through the exhibit there was an explanation of 19th century mothers that summarized how women shaped American society after the Civil War.  I was struck by a quote by Harriet Beecher Stowe that the curator had in vinyl:

"Women are the real architects of society."

Now, I don't believe that it is a contest between men and women, both influence attitudes and actions in our communities and country.  But, I do believe that a mother's child can paint the future and design the destiny of our society.  For good, or for ill.  It seems important that women invest their best efforts in mothering.

And according to Mr Bechtold, we just need to listen to and follow that  "God thing" that we are endowed with.  I think Sister Julie Beck would call it, "a mother heart".

The Improbable Becomes Reality

As I was driving around in my Honda several weeks ago, I listened to Elder Marcus Nash's October 2012 Conference talk five times in a row. ("By Faith All Things are Fulfilled", Marcus Nash, Oct 2012 GC)  It's crazy how you can hop right by really cool talks, then all of a sudden they strike you strong and profound.  Well, that is what Elder Nash did for me that day-- struck me strong.  I felt faith grow, almost like something was bulging inside. This morning I awoke wanting to review what he had taught. I wanted to feel that bolstering once again. So here I am.

I've seen the movie "17 Miracles" several times and have read the thick documentary  "The Price We Paid" by Andrew Olson,  so I was familiar with the story of the Willie Handcart Company pioneer woman, Ann Rowley.  But, the way that Elder Nash read her story and the inflection he used made it powerfully moving to me.

Quoting Sister Rowley: “It hurt me to see my children go hungry. … Night was coming and there was no food for the evening meal. I asked God’s help as I always did. I got on my knees, remembering two hard sea biscuits that … had been left over from the sea voyage. They were not large, and were so hard they couldn’t be broken. Surely, that was not enough to feed 8 people, but 5 loaves and 2 fishes were not enough to feed 5,000 people either, but through a miracle, Jesus HAD done it. So, with God’s help, nothing is impossible. I found the biscuits and put them in a dutch oven and covered them with water and asked for God’s blessing. Then I put the lid on the pan and set it on the coals. When I took off the lid a little later, I found the pan filled with food. I kneeled with my family and thanked God for his goodness. That night my family had sufficient food.”

Ann Rowley knew that God could do what her limited knowledge thought was implausible.  She remembered that Christ fed the multitudes in a way that mortal mind could not compute   She took her hard sea-biscuits and asked God to blow her mind-- "Heavenly Father, amaze me with what is completely illogical. Help me feed my starving children with two old biscuits."

This story teaches me that we don't need to know how the miracle will occur to exercise faith.  What we need is to know is that God is Omnipotent and that His workings extend beyond what mortals understand.  Elder Nash quotes from the hymn, "Lead, Kindly Light": Lead, kindly Light  amid the encircling gloom; Lead Thou me on!  The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead Thou me on!  Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene-- one step enough for me.  (1833 by John Henry Newman)

One step, enough for me.

Oh. This is tough.  How often I have said, "If I just knew the outcome... if I knew that everything would be ok... then that would give me strength or courage to press on."  But, this is not what Elder Nash and Ann Rowley and Mr Newman taught and it is certainly not faith.  They taught that faith is NOT knowing how on earth your pitiful contribution could be enough, but instead believing, trusting, hoping that our kind and knowing and powerful God can work it out. And in His timing and in some magnificent way that we never would have imagined, !!ta da!!-- a pan FULL of food! Elder Nash said that, "We, too, can exercise such faith in the Lord, believing and trusting that our kind and constant God will bless us with His miraculous power suited to our circumstance, according to His timing."

It makes me all frog-throated to write this.  I am feeling the witness of the Holy Ghost, so, I know it's true.  I do believe   But, ugh, then there is that part of me where I line up behind the New Testament father with the gnashing, thrashing, foaming boy-- "Lord, I believe,  Help Thou, my unbelief." (Mark 9:14-24)  I think that he and I could say together, "I believe with conviction that Thou art aware of me, know me, and care about my needs. I know You love me and mine, and I know You weep." But, then maybe that ancient Dad and I would a pause and wonder how on earth could the present, what we actually see, become what we hope for.

Oh. That darn unbelief.  That's why Peter fell into the water. (Matthew 14) Elder Nash reminded "(Peter) could have continued walking had he not feared!" Really? Yes.  He could have ignored the "boisterous winds and waves", kept his eye and mind and heart on Christ who stood there beckoning, and then continued to walk on water. There it is --the illogical, the implausible, the miracle.  People don't walk on water.  Multitudes aren't fed on five loaves.  Seas do not open and reveal dry land.  Lions don't live in pits with humans and not strike.  Fiery furnaces burn flesh.  Food doesn't not fall from the sky like dew.  Hundreds of arrows shot in anger don't miss a man on a wall.  Boys with a third grade education do not translate books from Reformed Egyptian.

But, with God, they do.

I wonder about Moses as he stood at the waters edge with the Israelite Nation on the run at his back.  Clearly, he stretched forth his staff with faith in the God of miracles.  But I'm curious if he wondered exactly how God was going to facilitate his people in their needful walk through the Red Sea-- boats?  ferries? whales? heroic swimming?  And then, the water parted.  It opened, and the land was dry. God's power was revealed in what we would say was super, dooper supernatural.

This is what I have learned--
Perhaps, way, way beyond what our finite minds can reckon, with God, all things are possible to them that believe.  (Matthew 19-26).

Image credit: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/photo_23330678_cooking-in-the-forest.html'>svetlanka / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

God's Magnificent Orchestration

Our Home teacher, Brother Chase, came last week and shared  Elder Uchtdorf's February message. ("A Word for the Hesitant Missionary", Elder Uchtdorf, Feb 2012 Ensign)  In the context of sharing the gospel, Elder Uchtdorf said this: "Sometimes we take too much credit or too much blame when it come to others accepting the gospel   It's important to remember that the Lord doesn't expect us to do the converting.  Conversion comes not through our works but through the heavenly ministration of the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes all it takes is one single phrase of our testimony or about an experience to set in motion the softening of a heart or the opening of a door that can lead others to experience sublime truths through the promptings of the Spirit."

I was really grateful for this message.  I can easily see the application to parenting in these ideas.

When I was a younger mother, I was willing to take credit for my kids' victories-- great grades, clean faces, insightful words.  I was also willing to let their weakness and mistakes bring me down and discourage me as a mother.  I am less able to take credit for either now.

A couple of years ago I sat on the beach and watched my six kids play in the sand and water. I was pondering the difference between raising little boys and bigger boys and wondering why they gradually deny your good advice and the opportunity to let you influence them as they grow.  I was wondering how I could help the boys learn to act for themselves, as the then new Duty to God workbook told me to do.  With all six of them in panoramic view, varied ages and each playing in the sand in very individual ways, I had an epiphany, "These boys have been acting for themselves since birth.  I'm not sure I have EVER been able to coerce them into anything.  I have never really been in charge here."

And then I remembered Ryan's arched back that refused the baby car seat.  Then, big bodies that there was no way I could move from bed to Seminary.  And McKay's barefoot feet in all places and weather conditions.  I saw a 4 year old Jamison's pout-y little round face and feet that seemed buried in cement at requests he didn't like.  I remembered in multiplicity trying to talk Jaron out of adventures and purchases and "missions" that he was feeling like pursuing with passion.  And the, the round and round and round about spirited conversation that some were/are willing to engage in to convince me out of my direction and into their way.

Now I know that the kid has a missionary haircut because he acted for himself and let me trim it up.  He goes to Church because he put on his clothes and got in the car.  He does, or doesn't, do homework because he is, or isn't, worried or willing.  He has a clean face after dinner because he allowed me to scrub it.  He stays on the sidewalk with his little two-wheeler because he chose to obey my warnings.  They play, or don't play, instruments and piano not because I bought them lessons and gave each the opportunity, but because they wanted, or didn't want, to embrace music and were willing, or not willing, to sit on the bench and pound out notes.

Maybe other parents are successful in mandating, militarizing, or coercing action out of children.  (I would like to be able to.) Or maybe other children are more willing to comply and follow more readily.  (I would like that, too.) But, mine came this way.  They are individuals.  They are dogmatic.  They have been self-confident enough (and maybe lacking humility and submissiveness sometimes) to plow forward in good.... and in gray.

I have found that my job is to lead and guide, invite and entice, love and teach.  Then, their job is to act for themselves.  Like I said above, I am less able to take the credit or the blame these days.

That said, I am relentless in indoctrination.  I will not leave this to chance.  I will teach and serve and train all the minutes of all the days of this stewardship.  I remember hearing a Conference talk (Darn. I can't source it. Sherrie Dew quoting someone else, maybe?) where the speaker said that she worried so much that she couldn't remember anything much of what she read in the scriptures.  She had concluded that it was her job to put the words, ideas and doctrines into her brain, and that it was the Lord's job to pull them out when she needed them.  This is wherein my parenting hopes lie.  It is my job to put it all into their heads and then know that that at the very hour of their need, at the very moment of optimal influence, the Lord will remind them of His teachings.

I think that Elder Uchtdorf said just that in his quote above.  Don't take too much credit.  Don't take too much blame.  It is the Spirit that converts-- even our children.

D&C 84:85 says that if you will "...treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man."  Treasure continually.  That is my mission.  Then I stand still and watch the arm of the Lord be revealed   (D&C 123:17)  That was certainly the case when Enos was hunting wild beasts, "...the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart." And the rebellious Alma the Younger said, "...I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart".  Yes.  My hopes rest in these promises.

I read a story in the Deseret News the other day about a non-member, antagonistic kid, Mitch Smith, who came to the University of Utah to play basketball. He had lots of great interactions, including a faithful coach and a cute girl, who influenced Mitch to study the gospel and to conversion.  Over time, he was baptized and now serves in the Church with great purpose. I liked a quote from the article:  "Elder Holland said Smith’s story illustrates that Heavenly Father is the ultimate strategist because he puts people exactly where they need to be, when they need to be there, to accomplish his purposes."

The "ultimate strategist".  I love it.  And I can bear witness to it.  There are times, ok, moments, ok, milliseconds, when I am willing to "be still" and watch.  And when I do, I can see pieces of God's magnificent orchestration in the lives of my children.

Your Heart's Soft Spots

When I was teenager, I babysat regularly for a family in the neighborhood   I was surprised when one day the mother got tired and worn and so she took a sabbatical from mothering  (which is a nice way to say that she quit)  Heroics from the father, but still a sad situation.  At the time, I didn't know that a mother could do that.  My mom worked tirelessly.  She had a big job with eight kids and a couple of those had heavy health concerns.  She took to her bedroom in distress occasionally, but she always recovered to care for our large family with a lot of love and purpose. Heroics from my mother.

I was (very un-heroically) having a moment the other day--  telling a friend about some parenting woes.  She suggested that I allow my crew to understand life without me-- for just a few minutes. I  surprised myself with a reply. What spilled out of my mouth were words that I had never heard myself speak before, but I immediately believed them.  It felt good to declare my root intentions and motivations in this job.

I told her softly--  "I can't, because I answer to someone higher than my family.  I serve them with all my heart and soul for God, not for me,.  I don't escape or walk away because my call came from Heavenly Father.  I serve at His pleasure   My objective is His objective-- the salvation of these precious souls.  I serve to that end.  I do not parent for praise or thanks.  I am serving God and I want to please Him."

That realization came from somewhere deep inside me and I didn't even know that it was there.  But, like I said, I believed it immediately.

Eliza R Snow once said, "Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us..."

So there you go.

I am in the midst of collecting meaningful Conference quotes from my marked up Ensigns and came upon a 2011 Paul V Johnson quote that mirrored a Neil Anderson quote from last Conference.  They were both exploring what kind of test or trails would most effectively test and try us.  I think that they both suggested that those things that dwell in the softest places in our heart are where we can be stretched the very best.

"These fiery trials are designed to make you stronger...They take root in our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities, our sensitivities, or in those things that matter most to us..." ("Trial of Your Faith", Neil Anderson, GC Oct 2012)

"At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses."  (Paul Johnson, GC May 2011 "More Than Conquerors")

Instead of reading "weaknesses", "vulnerabilities", "sensitivities" as  parts of us that are floppy and need strengthening, I read those words to mean, "the things most dear to us".  Even perceived strengths.  Things that we labor over and love. Those are soft places where we are most sensitive and vulnerable.  Trials in those areas will no doubt provide stretch and growth that is uncomfortable, but effective in turning our souls to Christ and His Atonement.

There is no doubt that my heart's "soft spot" is this family.  I have only rare aspirations outside of Greg and these boys.  No one has to thank me for laundry or meals because folded socks and homemade dinners are self-satisfying to me.  I love a tidy house.  It gives me a charge.  Everything is more fun if I have a boy in tow to talk to, learn from and teach. My heart is in this job.

I am pretty sure that my Mom felt the same way.  She said this in her personal history:

"...(While at BYU), I became disenchanted with (my business) major and made an appointment with a counselor for some advice. He told me if I wanted to get married and have children he would advise me to either have a nursing, home economics or child development (HDFR) major. A Human Development and Family Relations major took a lot of teasing, with people saying all you wanted to do was get married. Some of my Honors Program friends scoffed saying "anyone could be a mother," but I had found my niche and was delighted with what I was learning."

My mom was a mother through and through.  She canned and cooked meals with green salad.  Tried new recipes.  Budgeted.  She taught us to clean and made job charts.  She encouraged us with goals before Personal Progress existed in a program she made up called, "A Better Me".  Even as a cranky teen, I sat at the bar stools while she cleaned the kitchen and talked and talked.  She gathered us for movie nights.  She encouraged good grades and extra curricular activities. She loved our friends and boyfriends and was always so friendly and fun when they were around.  We worked in the yard, gardened and planted flowers.  She loved spring bulbs and roses.  She was home after school and waited up for us to come in at (or after) curfew.

I am sure that the softest spots in my mom's heart were home and family.  I am also sure that her excruciating trials of life were the congenital heart defect of Michael (who had open heart surgery at 10 days old and then battled illness and weakness until his death at 14 years old), Nathan (who was hit by a car at 2 1/2 years old while playing in front of our home and was left with a lifetime of unique challenges from an injured brain), and my Dad's young heart attack.  I shiver a little to remember my youthful folly and the grief I caused, especially with such serious things going on in the family.  ugh. She told me (with a smile) as an adult that there were times in my teens when she didn't know which way I would go, "but I knew which ever way it was, you would go with passion, and would probably take people with you." ugh again.

I think that I can confirm that both Elder Johnson and Elder Anderson pegged it with my mom's challenges.  They were "laser-guided" at the parts of her soul where she was "least able to cope."  But, she never quit. Nothing close.  She was a wonderful mother and I'm sure no one on earth understands the strength of her soul from having weathered these storms with faith.

Peace in Adversity?

I have been thinking up a pithy slogan to screen print on t-shirts-- "Trouble?  We all got it."  Just kidding.  I am not pasting it anywhere, but more and more I am learning that it's true.  I don't know why that is a revelation to me. I mean, we know that the purpose of this life to "prove" us (Abraham 3:25), and refine us (1 Nephi 20:10 ), and prepare us (Alma 5:28). That goal would be difficult to accomplish if we weren't regularly bumping up against our weaknesses or being required to stretch beyond tranquility.

I liked reading, "Leaving Adversity Behind", from the December 2012 Ensign.  I have always been a big fan of the words of Paul of Tarsus and two sets of scriptures that the author, Elder David Baxter, used really stood out to me.

First, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9: "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;"

How is this possible? Troubled, perplexed, persecuted and cast down, but not distressed, in despair, forsaken or destroyed.  Wow.  What a guy.  It occurs to me that the answer to that question would make a life-long of mountain climbing a more do-able activity.  If you could experience all of the stretch that mortality requires without the despair, that would be terrific!  Now, I must say that I don't think that is exactly, completely the plan.  I mean, we gotta feel it, don't we?  Otherwise we'd just skate. We've gotta work it through and that requires some recognition of the discomfort and pain.  But, it seems like Paul and others are talking about an undercurrent of peace and hope that has sustaining power.  I picture tumult of all kinds happening on the surface, but a peaceful river of clear water flowing underneath the stormy crust of life's experiences.

I think, Elder Baxter kinda said this, too:  "No matter what, we can find strength and encouragement."  He didn't talk about crust and rivers, but he thinks that "horrible hurricanes and tempests of turmoil" can come to a person and that they can decide to be happy anyway.  Revolutionary! He taught that "While adversity may be slow to leave us, we can choose to leave it anytime."

Ok, now.  Because he said it, and because my heart burned when I read it, I knew it was true, but the "how" was not immediately clear to me.  And maybe, probably, I am still working that out.  But, I know that the answer is Christ.  For heavens sake, He is all-powerful, all-knowing, perfectly loving, completely engaged, and present in my life.  That knowledge should equip me with all sorts of courage to press forward, the ability to drop to my knees when weak, un-doubting trust in eternal covenants, and a knowledge that I am not working alone. That, my friends, is what I think is called "HOPE in Christ".  Because I know who He is, I can press forward (faith) with a measure of confidence (hope) that He is working things behind the scenes  (charity) that are veiled from me.  THAT is the undercurrent that I am talking about.

Elder Baxter admits that he has, and we will have, some Joseph-Smith-where-is-the-pavilion-that-covereth-thy-hiding-place?  moments. (D&amp;C 121:1)  No, he didn't really say it that way, that was me, but he did said, "Heavenly help may not be obvious.  We may not immediately see or know that some other burdens that would have come our way, have been lifted-- diverted from our door."  So what is he saying?  He's saying that it could be worse!    He's saying that even when we can't see God's hand as obviously as we would like to while in the middle of our trial... (and sometimes I would like to see Him like the Brother of Jared did).... we can still feel SURE that He is working the situation for us with intensity and love.

Honestly, that brings me peace right there.  He's right.  It could be worse.  It could be ten trillion times worse and God may very well have kept it in check.  I mean, at the most manageable level that still will allow and accomplish our optimal growth and development.  I like that!  Seriously, I like knowing that.

Elder Baxter ends with Paul again in Philippians 4:11-13: "...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

So there you go.  The reality is that we are being divinely schooled, so in this life we will definitely know how to be abased, hungry and suffer.  But, Paul says that at the very same time, in some schizophrenic Atonement miracle, we can "abound" and feel full.  It doesn't matter what is swirling around us, contentment is possible.  I think that Paul's "content" is my figurative river of hope and peace that runs under the storm.

Now I know on paper and in post that this is true-- peace and adversity can co-exist.  Now, to go forth and apply.

Image credit: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/photo_7508926_a-large-tornado-working-its-way-across-fields.html'>solarseven / 123RF Stock Photo</a>