When I jumped into bed last Wednesday night, I worked at a list to fill my Thursday full of productive things. In the midst of scribbling cleaning projects and family history plans, I had a idea jump into my mind that felt all warm and right, "Tomorrow belongs to the boys."
That idea kind of caught me off guard, and as I thought of how that might be executed, I got all nostalgic for times past. I recalled a time when the kids were younger (and there were less of them) that I had a goal for myself and each child, each day: Read a book, have a talk and play a game. Sometimes I would plunk them up on the counter top and clip their fingernails so that I was looking them straight into the eyes and that proximity assured a conversation. We read a lot of fiction chapter books or biographies of famous people at night as they drifted to sleep. While babies napped, the bigger ones and I would lay on our tummies and do puzzles on the floor. These memories made me so grateful for the kids and the wonderful things we've shared. The memories also made me happy to think about what the next day could bring with my focus on having nice quality experiences with each child.
As fortune played, Trenton had a little fever and sore throat so stayed home from school. We needed milk, so He, Holden and I did a Walmart run. I loved having these little companions on my shopping trip and on this one I tried to listen intently to all that they had to say. We slowed down and visited the toy section and Pokemon card aisle.When we got home, I wrapped Trenton in a blanket and swaddled him like a little baby. He is still so affectionate and cozy and let me hold him and talk to him that way for a long time.
Trenton-- check.
That afternoon while the sun was shining, Holden and I went on a walk at three year old speed. He had so many cute observations and cute things to say. We saw a dog. "We don't have any dogs or sisters." We learned about buds and springtime. "That sidewalk is all broken." We stopped and were quiet so that we could hear the birds. We saw a curb drainage hole. "That's where cats live. I knowed that Uncle Rico (Johnston's cat) go'ed inside there last day." We visited the Conover's swings.
Holden-- check.
Ryan missed his ride home from school and called for me to come to high school and pick him up. On the way home in rush hour he talked all about the book he just finished to meet a nonfiction requirement in English. He read, "Under the Banner of Heaven" about the Lafferty Brothers and the FLDS way of thinking. (ugh. This would not have been my choice for him in non-fiction) He mused on why, as an agnostic/atheist, Krakauer wasn't a credible source for a study of religion. Then he expounded his conclusions from the book. "This is the most telling thing, Mom. Here. I underlined it." Then he read about the faithful, gentle, loving, providing, capable, LDS husband who, when he embraced the FLDS ways, became an abusive, lazy, harsh, murderous man. And Ryan glanced at me with a conclusive look in his eyes as if to say, "That man's change of behavior is the proof." He learned something big. And he shared it with me.
Ryan-- check.
I imposed on Jaron as he worked on his new acoustic guitar in his bedroom. I laid on Ryan's bed and listened to his chording of "Daisy" by Switchfoot. It was really, really good. Then he played me the song from his iPod, and I was impressed at his sound. Then he played his guitar with Switchfoot on his iPod and I was VERY impressed. Slides, and hand changes, and plucking all the strings, and then just a few strings. Amazing. And he is picking this up all by himself by reading guitar music. He showed me an iTouch application that tunes the guitar strings into any key and lets you pluck chords by touching the screen. So cool. I spent a happy half hour asking questions and listening to him talk about this new passion, and it was very rewarding.
Jaron-- check.
Then I went in search of Jamison and found him playing basketball with McKay in the backyard. Great. Two birds with one stone. I picked up a ball and we played P-I-G several times. That Jamison is quite a shot and required McKay and I to shoot hoops from on the top the rock wall, from the deck and from beyond three point range. Truth be told, he crushed us, but it was sure fun. McKay was such a card. Every time he chose the shot it was ten feet out, "With one hand", or "with two divided by two hands", or "with three minus two hands". Always the same. He and I had a Globetrotter passing ritual before my shots and we smiled and laughed a lot. I taught them the granny-shot. It was so nice to stop and play.
Jamison-- check. McKay-- check.
To have this mission made it such a fun, satisfying day. The experience made me stop and wonder why I had to be reminded to focus like this? Shouldn't it be instinctual, or happen more naturally, for individual interactions with the kids to be the day's real target? Nevertheless, the lesson was learned again-- it is really so important that I work at quality one on one interactions with the kids on a daily basis.
