I went to Matkins Nursery a couple of weeks ago and bought Creole tomatoes-- a Louisiana variety that is supposed to love the heat and humidity. I have been very excited and have big plans for them-- salsa and salads and BLT's and fresh slices. I picture a big yield. I'm a little conflicted on where to plant them though. My garden only gets morning sun so that means my harvest is always small. That is not acceptable to me with these fancy plants, and I have been trying to get the courage to put them in a pot where they can gather optimal sun.
While I was thinking about where to plant them, the tomatoes were not happy in a paper box on the driveway. They were hard to take care outside in their little plastic, root-bound home and they ended each day thirsty and hanging their heads droopy. I brought them into my kitchen sick and they have been there for more than a week. They seem to be happy-- all taut and upright. It is a great, safe place where I can keep tabs on them and monitor them carefully. I have discovered that they are a lot easier to take care of captive under a faucet then they were outside in the elements.
I wish that I could just keep them in my kitchen sink, but I know that they will never produce me tomatoes there. They will get tired of living in that little carton. There is nowhere for the roots to go. They need a chance to spread out. And my plants will miss the sunshine. I know that the best place for them will be sun-bathing in a pot on my deck, but, I can't get over the risks. There's lots of uncertainty in a planter pot, and it sure feels snug to have them under my watchful care.
About Kids--
I went visiting teaching the other day and we discussed an April 2014 Elder Eyring quote from General Conference, "Never force righteousness because righteousness must be chosen." I think that there was consensus among the ladies that it is scary to watch our children make choices. That sounds really silly because agency is at the heart of God's Plan for our probation, but it doesn't feel that simple. It feels risky. What if they don't follow your example? What is they don't heed your teaching and your urging? What if they miss something because they opted out? What if they make a bad choice? Pride...will that make me look like a bad parent? What if they fail? They could wreck their life! Shouldn't we be there to catch before a stumble, to divert trouble, and to save them from themselves?
Shouldn't we just keep them in our "kitchen sinks"?
We can't.
I don't mean that we stop teaching, urging and inspiring. That we check out, become hands off, or that somehow this idea releases us from our familial disciplining duties. But, what I am learning is that we need to trust that our children have their own conscience. That not only do they have our love and our good advice, they have the light of Christ and the Holy Ghost's promptings. That God sends angels into their lives. That He pricks their hearts with words, teachings, music, and experiences just like we know He does for us. That even more than they tell us, they know much and are learning much. That they have their own little thinkers and are their very own persons. That they come to us at birth with character and spirit that is well developed. That there are some things that they will just have to learn by doing, or by not doing.
I admit to fretting sometimes....seeing disappointing choices as a hopeless slippery slope....not wanting children to choose anything that may look like the first step to indifference or worse...feeling, quite incorrectly, like you have partial ownership in a child's chance at life.
Walking in faith means setting aside these fears. It is trusting that God's Plan comes with scary, temporary risks, but ends in mandatory personal growth and development. It is in believing in a long view which includes a marvelous "harvest" because of beautiful, Divine redemption and salvation.
Today is the day I plant outside.
