There is material in the talk for several posts here on this blog, so this just might be a series, but the first I want to discuss is this story and an idea from Sister Eubank:
"..As I want to talk about these kinds of things (women and their role in the Church), I find that I don’t have the vocabulary. There are no terms to talk about the things I want to talk about. I had a friend. She was an elderly woman. She was from Estonia. She was translating the Book of Mormon into the Estonian language, even while it was still behind the Iron Curtain. And she had dictionaries, and she had grown up under Communist rule and she was struggling with how to talk about certain terms in there because they had been stripped out of the Estonian language by the Communists. They had taken those words and removed them from practice and speech and from books and there were no terms anymore to talk about priesthood, for example. The words didn’t exist for that and she really struggled with “how do I translate the Book of Mormon without these concepts?” And if you don’t have language, you don’t have an understanding of the roles. I think a really good example of this is: we don’t know what to call a mission president’s wife. And we don’t know how to describe the role that she plays. We know in our gut that there is a role, and that it is indispensable and that nobody else is filling it if she isn’t there, but we don’t even know what to call that...so much of our language is missing because we don’t know what to call things."
I am fascinated by the idea that our LDS lexicon does not have all the words we need to describe what a woman does. Julie B Beck gave us "Motherheart", which is a wonderful word to describe the feelings bumping around in our chests that provoke us to minister to God's children. Sister Eubank mentioned "Temple Matron" as a good one, too. But still, it isn't quite comprehensive. I mean, we all understand "Bishop", but what word describes "The Bishop's Wife". We know what it means to be a Stake President, but how do you capture in a concept the gal he is married to.
I agree with Sister Eubank that our vocabulary as a Church does not perfectly include words that can describe very well the marvelous roles of women. And it's not because women don't have roles. I feel like this Church uses me and challenges me to grow through the things I am asked to do. (We'll talk about that more in the next posts.) It also develops me by the things Greg, because we are a "Divine Pair", is asked to do. I believe that it is all fair and it is all the way that God is working on both halves of the whole in Supreme brilliance.
And truly, most of the time it doesn't really matter about that word-thing. I mean, I know what I do and I know what is expected of me and I want to give that freely without title. But if you (or me) were struggling to know who you were and what value you brought to the equation, then a word just might help. And Sister Eubank offering this as one reason why the Ordain Women movement exists, is just really interesting to me. In summary, it's not because women don't have key roles in God's Plan and in our Church, it is because there are not words in our Mormon dictionary for what we do.
So I have given it some thought. OK, a lot of thought. And I am not quite there yet, but I am going to share my initial "words" for the women of this Church and probably women everywhere--
* Patriot of Kith and Kin
Because "Patriot" means: "...a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her (little, personal, homemade) country and its interests with devotion." And I think that this describes the altruistic reason why we do things and it captures my feelings of allegiance and fervor.
* Director of the DEMA
(which stands for Domestic Emergency Management Agency, which is like our national FEMA. Ha.)
This title is because I do the pre-work and am the pre-arranger of life-saving preparations for impending storms. I am in charge of buttoning down the hatches to keep us all safe. And I am the rescue arm when there's a man down or when one is stranded on his roof surrounded in flood. There I am with my motor boat and ladder. I work prevention. I work clean up.
* Editor in Chief
Which means that I boil down the kids and the home into a palatable, concise reduction and serve it to Greg at the end of the day so that he has a taste of the doings the family. This way he feels part of the unit even when away. I am a colander, or a sieve or a filter catching what is important. I am also the "study it out" arm of our companionship on things pertaining to the family. I dig and research, make the calls, gather the info and go to him with a presentation, of sorts. Then, quickly, we can make a final decision together. I also dream up the story of our tribe, work it, then write down our family history.
* Grand Oversee-er
This one means that my world is a great, big umbrella. I see what's in front of me, and I see what is away from me and I try to decipher it all, take care of it all, and keep it all collected under one eye. I know where each member of the family is and where they need to be next. I work Saturday activity spreadsheets and tricky calendaring. I also work to see the kids' potential in a big picture, keep track of it, and teach to it.
* Family Foreman
This title means that my work is to create a home with a total environment of support, love, and order-- a house of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, a house of God. I clean and organize. I orchestrate work. I charge a crew. My finger is on things inside and out. Test me on where the red football is, the Nike jacket, the iPod charger. I know. And I just painted furniture, so I get bonus points on the literal this week.
* Matron of Teflon
Which title means that with mothers, things don't stick to you. You can be hated and freaky and crazy. You can be pulling out your hair and pounding your head, but you love anyway. Because when you see that little person lying with closed eyes and tucked into a puffy bed of your making, all you remember is that they are your boy and you love them with every molecule of your existence. You just can't resist pushing back the hair from their brow and kissing their little heads. They push, and you love on. They get rascal-y, and you love on. You let things go. You forgive quickly and generously. You love no matter what because every one needs a mother who thinks that they are wonderful and God has endowed you with the ability to be that for them.
* Resident Rector
This word because I am a religionist who is in charge of a congregation that we call our family. I iron shirts and keep Sunday clothes clean. I load the family mini-van for Sunday meetings, youth activities and Early Morning Seminary. I lead my congregates in praying and studying. I try to have something spiritual brewing in my head so that I draw things back to the inspiring in conversation. My greatest desire is to facilitate things so that faith can grow. And sometimes I kneel at the bedside of reluctants with New Era stories and scriptures and words from the prophets, night after night. And I pray over my little flock. A lot.
So there is my first attempt to try to put caption on unnamed woman-ish concepts. Thanks, Sister Eubank for inspiring me to look for "words". I feel empowered.
