I listened to a John L. Lund Family Expo address on BYU-TV this week. ("The Art of Raising Teenagers-- and Other Miracles, John L Lund, Family Expo, April 3, 2000) Since that time I have had several opportunities to think about and apply Dr Lund's definition of parenting:
"The art of parenting is the skill to gradually transfer responsibility for life from a parent to a child based on maturity and ability."
A little baby comes so helpless and has a total dependence on a parent for life, but as they grow and develop they can do so much for themselves. A parent's goal is to constantly be evaluating the child's maturity and ability, then line upon line turn responsibility to them for their needs. The eventual goal is to produce a young adult with all of the skills that he needs to sustain himself independently. To me, it sounds like a good parent would gradually work herself right out of a job.
It sounds simple, but Dr Lund reminded listeners that each child develops very differently. "I had eight children who required eight different parenting plans." I agree with this. What one struggles with, comes naturally for another. Talents here, are weaknesses there. To achieve the desired end-result a parent must be tenacious-- constantly evaluating and adjusting the teaching plan.
A couple of times this week I have thought, "Hmmmm. This kid wants responsibility that is beyond his ability and maturity." And I have also caught myself thinking, "Yes, I do believe he is ready to take charge of that for himself now." Dr Lund's definition of successful parenting has already been a really helpful tool for me.
One more thing that seemed clever was a slide comparing and contrasting parental values to the values of a teenager. I was surprised to see that they run in direct opposition to each other. I guess that this leaves no mystery as to why parents and teens are at odds sometimes. Dr Lund said:
Teens value Freedom, Friends, Fun, Privacy, and The Present.
Parents value Responsibility, Family, Safety, Open Communication, and The Future.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
New Insight on Hope
My dad's friend from our old Taylorsville Stake, Larry Hiller, had such an insightful piece in the June Ensign. ("Hope: The Misunderstood Sister", Larry Hiller, Ensign June 2009) Brother Hiller describes Faith, Hope and Charity as three sisters:
"Faith may be the most well known and popular, the one whose companionship is sought most often. She’s active and energetic, definitely the can-do type. Faith can move mountains, if necessary. I picture Charity as being modest and refined, beautiful and gracious. In her presence you feel genuinely loved and accepted. She’s unfailingly kind and generous, patient, empathetic, aware of every need, and responsive without being asked."
Then he says that Hope is the misunderstood sister and he works, in the article, to put a face on her elusive character. Unlike the way we use the word "hope" in our every day speech, Brother Hiller showed me that hope is anything but elusive and fickle. He used a scripture from Romans as his proof.
"We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:3-5)
As life brings to us hard experiences, we have wonderful times where we feel the "love of God" and feel "the Holy Ghost" ministering to us. Those warm, supportive, peace-giving feelings build in us a confidence and strength. Brother Hiller explained, "I find Him sharing my yoke, making my burdens bearable, and giving me hope. I then have strength to endure. I have assurance that all will be made right, not just in life, but also for eternity. Hope is anything but wishful. It is expectation based on experience." This is the sister "Hope". As we have experience after experience with the ministration of the Holy Ghost, these assurances grow. This is "hope".
I love the imagery that Brother Hiller creates in his little sidebar poem. He speaks of a person walking a life of faith in Jesus Christ with Hope's arm "linked with mine, encouraging, steadying." Such amazing insight.
He concluded by drawing a picture for the reader of Hope's qualities
"She is serene. Her eyes have the deep, knowing look of someone well acquainted with sorrow, the luminosity of recently being wet with tears. Hope has the confidence of one who clearly sees a bright future even when the next hours seem fog shrouded. Hope is steady and strong..."
Because I am one who has found Hope to be "elusive", these insights were helpful to me. In the past, I think I have called "hope", "spiritual confidence", based on an Elder Edgley Conference talk that touched me during my young adulthood. (Richard C. Edgley, “That Thy Confidence Wax Strong,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 39) But these new insights from Brother Hiller have given me new eyes. Having a definition that I understand breathes new meaning into the scriptures and Conference talks where the word "hope" is oft used. Now, I can now insert "experiences with God and the Holy Ghost that, collectively, have the ability to steady and assure" when I read or hear the word "hope". I am anxious to re-read Elder Uchtdorf's recent Conference address with these new ideas rolling around in my head. (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Infinite Power of Hope,” Liahona, Nov 2008, 21–24) I'm going to do so today.
Walking with Two Sisters
By Larry Hiller
Faith walks before me,
Holding up her lamp
As I try not to stumble in the ink-dark hours before the dawn.
Her light illuminates
One step and then another.
Beside me, Hope, arm linked with mine, encourages and steadies.
Sometimes in the tedium,
Distracted by the pain,
My mind begins to wander, then my feet. I hesitate.
Unsure, I look to Hope.
Her hand takes mine.
The touch reminds me of another hand held out to me,
One pierced and scarred
Yet oh so tender
Lifting me and blessing me when I had fallen and despaired.
Remembering,
I move ahead
Buoyed up by Hope, who sees the end with perfect clarity.
"Faith may be the most well known and popular, the one whose companionship is sought most often. She’s active and energetic, definitely the can-do type. Faith can move mountains, if necessary. I picture Charity as being modest and refined, beautiful and gracious. In her presence you feel genuinely loved and accepted. She’s unfailingly kind and generous, patient, empathetic, aware of every need, and responsive without being asked."
Then he says that Hope is the misunderstood sister and he works, in the article, to put a face on her elusive character. Unlike the way we use the word "hope" in our every day speech, Brother Hiller showed me that hope is anything but elusive and fickle. He used a scripture from Romans as his proof.
"We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:3-5)
As life brings to us hard experiences, we have wonderful times where we feel the "love of God" and feel "the Holy Ghost" ministering to us. Those warm, supportive, peace-giving feelings build in us a confidence and strength. Brother Hiller explained, "I find Him sharing my yoke, making my burdens bearable, and giving me hope. I then have strength to endure. I have assurance that all will be made right, not just in life, but also for eternity. Hope is anything but wishful. It is expectation based on experience." This is the sister "Hope". As we have experience after experience with the ministration of the Holy Ghost, these assurances grow. This is "hope".
I love the imagery that Brother Hiller creates in his little sidebar poem. He speaks of a person walking a life of faith in Jesus Christ with Hope's arm "linked with mine, encouraging, steadying." Such amazing insight.
He concluded by drawing a picture for the reader of Hope's qualities
"She is serene. Her eyes have the deep, knowing look of someone well acquainted with sorrow, the luminosity of recently being wet with tears. Hope has the confidence of one who clearly sees a bright future even when the next hours seem fog shrouded. Hope is steady and strong..."
Because I am one who has found Hope to be "elusive", these insights were helpful to me. In the past, I think I have called "hope", "spiritual confidence", based on an Elder Edgley Conference talk that touched me during my young adulthood. (Richard C. Edgley, “That Thy Confidence Wax Strong,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 39) But these new insights from Brother Hiller have given me new eyes. Having a definition that I understand breathes new meaning into the scriptures and Conference talks where the word "hope" is oft used. Now, I can now insert "experiences with God and the Holy Ghost that, collectively, have the ability to steady and assure" when I read or hear the word "hope". I am anxious to re-read Elder Uchtdorf's recent Conference address with these new ideas rolling around in my head. (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Infinite Power of Hope,” Liahona, Nov 2008, 21–24) I'm going to do so today.
Walking with Two Sisters
By Larry Hiller
Faith walks before me,
Holding up her lamp
As I try not to stumble in the ink-dark hours before the dawn.
Her light illuminates
One step and then another.
Beside me, Hope, arm linked with mine, encourages and steadies.
Sometimes in the tedium,
Distracted by the pain,
My mind begins to wander, then my feet. I hesitate.
Unsure, I look to Hope.
Her hand takes mine.
The touch reminds me of another hand held out to me,
One pierced and scarred
Yet oh so tender
Lifting me and blessing me when I had fallen and despaired.
Remembering,
I move ahead
Buoyed up by Hope, who sees the end with perfect clarity.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Reverent Living
During the summer of 2005, Greg’s work relocated our family from Dallas, Texas to American Fork, Utah. We purchased a home that was very happily situated just a few hundred yards from the doors of the Mount Timpanogos Temple. That temple was always before our eyes: Playing kickball with the kids on the green space—the temple. Early morning drives with Ryan to Jazz Band—the temple. Sitting at soccer games, the elementary school playground, our front steps—the temple. The proximity of our family to that House of the Lord influenced my living. It made everything about everyday life feel sacred and hallowed.
I’ve thought a lot about that since then and I have decided that “sacred” is really how living should feel. And “hallowed” is how caring for, or providing for, a family should feel. Living near that temple brought those feelings to me in a way I have not forgotten.
This observation has become a symbol to me of what I will call today “reverent living”.
Definition of Reverence
Elder Lionel Kendrick taught that, “To be reverent is not just to be quiet.” It isn’t just arm-folding and sobriety, like we commonly think. He said that “Reverence involves thinking, speaking, feeling, and acting as we would in the presence of the Lord.” (1)
“Reverent living” is faith, love, gratitude, and humility in everyday life. It is deliberately processing your surroundings and finding in them that which is godly. “Reverent living” is the ability to see the sacred, the beauty and the hand of the Lord in our lives. Then in awe, we behave accordingly.
It’s no wonder that President Marion G Romney said that reverence, or ‘reverent living”, is, “…the depth of one’s nature…” (2), “…the soul of true religion…” (3), and “…a sign of spiritual maturity, strength, and nobility.” (4)
And David O McKay confirmed that “The greatest manifestation of spirituality is reverence”. (5)
From whence it springs? From a love of God!
So, from whence does this kind of “reverent living” spring?
Our journey to “reverent living” starts when we “have paid the price to know the glory of the Father and His Son. (6) Because “…those who have the most profound reverence…are the people who know Him best. (7)
God is our Heavenly Father and we are literally his Spirit Children. His Plan of Salvation gifts to us the opportunity to become like Him. The Plan provides bodies that Christ’s Atonement makes immortal and perfect, and mortal life with experiences and growth that Christ’s Atonement can make clean. As our understanding of God, His Plan and His Son increases, so does our respect and honor for them. It brings us to a place of humility. Our mind is opened more and more to the truth that all things—life—is spiritual. (8) That is when we will “Stand all Amazed”. (9)
Elder Perry taught that “Reverence is an attitude toward Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. It is a private feeling. It is something we feel inside our hearts no matter what is going on around us. “(10) Reverence is internal. When you are developing faith and testimony, you are changing into a respectful, reverent person with decorum and dignity. (11)
Much like other character traits that we are to develop in this life, it is gradual. It is line upon line, and precept upon precept. (12) All of us started as little children, and President Romney says we were “not naturally inclined” at that time to reverence. But, we can, and we must, grow grace for grace. (13) That awe, or to revere, step by step changes our natures into reverent people.
Here is one experience that I remember from my personal line upon line journey:
When I was about 13, I attended a Girl’s Camp. One night I was lying on a big, granite rock in Big Cottonwood Canyon, looking up at the night sky. There were sparkly stars covering the entire sky. In that moment of awesomeness, I had the distinct impression that little me, tiny on that boulder was loved and cared for by the Supreme Being who had power to create universes. But instead of feeling insignificant, I was filled with warmth. Even in His grandeur, I knew that to Him, I was significant and loved.
Experiences like that one, one by one on top of another, plant in us a knowledge that just in living, we are walking and standing on holy ground. And when we know it, we will act reverently. (14)
Personal Times of Reverence- Linked to the Plan of Salvation
I do much of my recording of personally significant feelings and ideas on my little blog. And just for curiosity, I did a little search of my entries from the past few years. I searched for the word “sacred”.
I typed it in, and the entries fell down the page: Family History cemetery research, having a newborn, funerals, Nauvoo, evenings with a house full of bathed and fed preschoolers in Minnesota, the hall of prophets at the Conference Center in Salt Lake, dinner dates with Greg, scriptures by my boys beds at night, an afternoon watching my little boys play in the forest, reading the Ensign, going to the temple, covenants, our bodies, mothering, and responsibilities in the kingdom.
Most of these experiences are SO everyday….why did they feel so sacred?
Because--- they are all pinned directly to Heavenly Father and His Plan of Salvation, with Christ as our Savior. All of those things revolve around—life-giving, bodies, tests and trials, ordinances, family, mothering, sociality, and finally, death.
Ta-da. Earth Life, as part of the Plan of Salvation!
Things that Hold us Back
So, if the adversary wanted to cheat us of the companionship of the Holy Ghost and its attendant “reverent living”, and I testify that he does, then he would attempt to cheapen God, His Plan and Christ, our Savior.
Those evil objectives are the core of all the arguments from the great agnostics and antichrists of the Book of Mormon. And the work of the Korihors and Zeezroms of our day is just the same. If the adversary can strip us of the understanding of God and a belief in His plan, then people can be their own Gods. They can focus on self and the things of the world. It is a “ploy”, as McKay would say, to steal from people “a sense of the sacred”, to steal from them “Reverent Living”.
Elder Christofferson explained, “…those who do not appreciate holy things will lose them. (And) absent a feeling of reverence, they will grow increasingly casual in attitude and conduct. They will drift from the moorings that their covenants with God could provide. Their feelings of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, they will care only about their own comfort and satisfying their uncontrolled appetites. Finally, they will come to despise sacred things, even God…” (15)
“The world in which we live in will do everything in its power to draw reverence out of us and leave us empty shells.” (16)
We must leave what seems so normal in the world—and the philosophies, and the intellectualism, the selfishness. We must reject the ideas that we see splashed on the TV screen, and in movies, and in song lyrics. “Get thee hence”! (17) Like Christ with the money changers at the temple— sheer from our lives all that offends God and runs counter to His plan for us. (18)
Those things will halt our personal ability to feel the Spirit, and thus they rob us of reverence.
Result of Reverent Living
As we grow towards this goal of “reverent living” we will see our desires change to mimic Heavenly Father’s Plan for us:
We will have a respect for life.
We will resist behaviors that would injure our bodies.
We’ll desire children, and want to raise them in families.
Fathers will want to provide, and mothers will want to nurture.
Interactions with friends and strangers will be kind because we know that they are children of God.
We’ll be submissive to challenges and trials.
We’ll doggedly hold onto the promises we made in baptismal and marriage covenants.
We’ll dignify death and wait for life eternal.
Because of what we know, President Romney said that “…Latter-day Saints should be the most reverent people in the world…” (19)
Conclusion
Many of us here today are familiar with, or even remember the delivery of, Elder Bruce R McConkie’s last Conference talk entitled, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane.” (20) Some time ago I read the events surrounding that talk in a Biography written by his son, Joseph. I share them today because I think that it is a powerful synopsis of “reverent living”. Throughout a lifetime of spiritual scholarship and righteous living, Elder McConkie developed a relationship with God, and Christ, and The Plan. That knowledge brought to his life and to his gospel teaching a seriousness, a sobriety, a reverence, a holiness that lives on through his words today.
In April of 1985, Elder McConkie was gravely ill with terminal cancer. As April Conference approached, his strong desire was to be able to deliver a talk. One day, his wife recalled that Elder McConkie entered the kitchen while she was making pie and asked if she would like to hear his talk. “He…started to read me his talk and the tears streamed down his face, and he didn’t get more than a couple of sentences out and I thought to myself, ‘You don’t make apple pies when someone is saying these things to you.’” And so she sat down. She asked him how on earth he would be able to deliver the talk because he was ‘so touched’ that he couldn’t even read it. As the day came closer, the doctors told him that he would be too weak to speak and worried that he would pass out at the pulpit. But he was intent on delivering this last testimony and pleaded with his family to pray that he would have the strength and composure he needed.
Joseph describes the day, “As he rose to speak, his face was drawn and thin, his skin so yellow…his steps those of a man many years his senior: nevertheless, he stood tall and spoke with confidence and power.” And these are the words that he said, “I am one of His witnesses, and in the coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But, I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, and that he is our Savior and Redeemer….God grant that all of us may walk in the light of God, our Father.” (21)
Brothers and Sisters, that is my desire and my hope, too—that our faith and testimonies of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will develop and grow until we, too “walk in the light of God our, Father”. And that walk, I believe, is “reverent living”.
1- L. Lionel Kendrick, “Enhancing Our Temple Experience,” Liahona, Jul 2001
2- Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
3- Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
4- Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976
5- David O McKay, Conference Report, Oct. 1956
6- L. Tom Perry, “Our Prophets and Apostles Speak to Us: Reverence,” Liahona, Mar 2002
7-Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
8- D&C 29:34
9- LDS Hymns # 193, “I Stand All Amazed”
10- L. Tom Perry, “Our Prophets and Apostles Speak to Us: Reverence,” Liahona, Mar 2002
11- Idea from See Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976
12- 2 Nephi 28:30
13- D&C 93:12-13, and idea from D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” Liahona, Jun 2006, 28–31
14- Gordon B Hinckley, “Reverence and Morality”
15- D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” Liahona, Jun 2006, 28–31
16- Earl Swain, CES Director at BYU-I Devotional, 18 March 2008
17- Moses 1:16
18- John 2: 13-17
19- Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976, 2
20- Bruce R. McConkie, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Ensign, May 1985
21- The Bruce R McConkie Story, Joseph Fielding McConkie, Deseret Book, 2003
I’ve thought a lot about that since then and I have decided that “sacred” is really how living should feel. And “hallowed” is how caring for, or providing for, a family should feel. Living near that temple brought those feelings to me in a way I have not forgotten.
This observation has become a symbol to me of what I will call today “reverent living”.
Definition of Reverence
Elder Lionel Kendrick taught that, “To be reverent is not just to be quiet.” It isn’t just arm-folding and sobriety, like we commonly think. He said that “Reverence involves thinking, speaking, feeling, and acting as we would in the presence of the Lord.” (1)
“Reverent living” is faith, love, gratitude, and humility in everyday life. It is deliberately processing your surroundings and finding in them that which is godly. “Reverent living” is the ability to see the sacred, the beauty and the hand of the Lord in our lives. Then in awe, we behave accordingly.
It’s no wonder that President Marion G Romney said that reverence, or ‘reverent living”, is, “…the depth of one’s nature…” (2), “…the soul of true religion…” (3), and “…a sign of spiritual maturity, strength, and nobility.” (4)
And David O McKay confirmed that “The greatest manifestation of spirituality is reverence”. (5)
From whence it springs? From a love of God!
So, from whence does this kind of “reverent living” spring?
Our journey to “reverent living” starts when we “have paid the price to know the glory of the Father and His Son. (6) Because “…those who have the most profound reverence…are the people who know Him best. (7)
God is our Heavenly Father and we are literally his Spirit Children. His Plan of Salvation gifts to us the opportunity to become like Him. The Plan provides bodies that Christ’s Atonement makes immortal and perfect, and mortal life with experiences and growth that Christ’s Atonement can make clean. As our understanding of God, His Plan and His Son increases, so does our respect and honor for them. It brings us to a place of humility. Our mind is opened more and more to the truth that all things—life—is spiritual. (8) That is when we will “Stand all Amazed”. (9)
Elder Perry taught that “Reverence is an attitude toward Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. It is a private feeling. It is something we feel inside our hearts no matter what is going on around us. “(10) Reverence is internal. When you are developing faith and testimony, you are changing into a respectful, reverent person with decorum and dignity. (11)
Much like other character traits that we are to develop in this life, it is gradual. It is line upon line, and precept upon precept. (12) All of us started as little children, and President Romney says we were “not naturally inclined” at that time to reverence. But, we can, and we must, grow grace for grace. (13) That awe, or to revere, step by step changes our natures into reverent people.
Here is one experience that I remember from my personal line upon line journey:
When I was about 13, I attended a Girl’s Camp. One night I was lying on a big, granite rock in Big Cottonwood Canyon, looking up at the night sky. There were sparkly stars covering the entire sky. In that moment of awesomeness, I had the distinct impression that little me, tiny on that boulder was loved and cared for by the Supreme Being who had power to create universes. But instead of feeling insignificant, I was filled with warmth. Even in His grandeur, I knew that to Him, I was significant and loved.
Experiences like that one, one by one on top of another, plant in us a knowledge that just in living, we are walking and standing on holy ground. And when we know it, we will act reverently. (14)
Personal Times of Reverence- Linked to the Plan of Salvation
I do much of my recording of personally significant feelings and ideas on my little blog. And just for curiosity, I did a little search of my entries from the past few years. I searched for the word “sacred”.
I typed it in, and the entries fell down the page: Family History cemetery research, having a newborn, funerals, Nauvoo, evenings with a house full of bathed and fed preschoolers in Minnesota, the hall of prophets at the Conference Center in Salt Lake, dinner dates with Greg, scriptures by my boys beds at night, an afternoon watching my little boys play in the forest, reading the Ensign, going to the temple, covenants, our bodies, mothering, and responsibilities in the kingdom.
Most of these experiences are SO everyday….why did they feel so sacred?
Because--- they are all pinned directly to Heavenly Father and His Plan of Salvation, with Christ as our Savior. All of those things revolve around—life-giving, bodies, tests and trials, ordinances, family, mothering, sociality, and finally, death.
Ta-da. Earth Life, as part of the Plan of Salvation!
Things that Hold us Back
So, if the adversary wanted to cheat us of the companionship of the Holy Ghost and its attendant “reverent living”, and I testify that he does, then he would attempt to cheapen God, His Plan and Christ, our Savior.
Those evil objectives are the core of all the arguments from the great agnostics and antichrists of the Book of Mormon. And the work of the Korihors and Zeezroms of our day is just the same. If the adversary can strip us of the understanding of God and a belief in His plan, then people can be their own Gods. They can focus on self and the things of the world. It is a “ploy”, as McKay would say, to steal from people “a sense of the sacred”, to steal from them “Reverent Living”.
Elder Christofferson explained, “…those who do not appreciate holy things will lose them. (And) absent a feeling of reverence, they will grow increasingly casual in attitude and conduct. They will drift from the moorings that their covenants with God could provide. Their feelings of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, they will care only about their own comfort and satisfying their uncontrolled appetites. Finally, they will come to despise sacred things, even God…” (15)
“The world in which we live in will do everything in its power to draw reverence out of us and leave us empty shells.” (16)
We must leave what seems so normal in the world—and the philosophies, and the intellectualism, the selfishness. We must reject the ideas that we see splashed on the TV screen, and in movies, and in song lyrics. “Get thee hence”! (17) Like Christ with the money changers at the temple— sheer from our lives all that offends God and runs counter to His plan for us. (18)
Those things will halt our personal ability to feel the Spirit, and thus they rob us of reverence.
Result of Reverent Living
As we grow towards this goal of “reverent living” we will see our desires change to mimic Heavenly Father’s Plan for us:
We will have a respect for life.
We will resist behaviors that would injure our bodies.
We’ll desire children, and want to raise them in families.
Fathers will want to provide, and mothers will want to nurture.
Interactions with friends and strangers will be kind because we know that they are children of God.
We’ll be submissive to challenges and trials.
We’ll doggedly hold onto the promises we made in baptismal and marriage covenants.
We’ll dignify death and wait for life eternal.
Because of what we know, President Romney said that “…Latter-day Saints should be the most reverent people in the world…” (19)
Conclusion
Many of us here today are familiar with, or even remember the delivery of, Elder Bruce R McConkie’s last Conference talk entitled, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane.” (20) Some time ago I read the events surrounding that talk in a Biography written by his son, Joseph. I share them today because I think that it is a powerful synopsis of “reverent living”. Throughout a lifetime of spiritual scholarship and righteous living, Elder McConkie developed a relationship with God, and Christ, and The Plan. That knowledge brought to his life and to his gospel teaching a seriousness, a sobriety, a reverence, a holiness that lives on through his words today.
In April of 1985, Elder McConkie was gravely ill with terminal cancer. As April Conference approached, his strong desire was to be able to deliver a talk. One day, his wife recalled that Elder McConkie entered the kitchen while she was making pie and asked if she would like to hear his talk. “He…started to read me his talk and the tears streamed down his face, and he didn’t get more than a couple of sentences out and I thought to myself, ‘You don’t make apple pies when someone is saying these things to you.’” And so she sat down. She asked him how on earth he would be able to deliver the talk because he was ‘so touched’ that he couldn’t even read it. As the day came closer, the doctors told him that he would be too weak to speak and worried that he would pass out at the pulpit. But he was intent on delivering this last testimony and pleaded with his family to pray that he would have the strength and composure he needed.
Joseph describes the day, “As he rose to speak, his face was drawn and thin, his skin so yellow…his steps those of a man many years his senior: nevertheless, he stood tall and spoke with confidence and power.” And these are the words that he said, “I am one of His witnesses, and in the coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But, I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, and that he is our Savior and Redeemer….God grant that all of us may walk in the light of God, our Father.” (21)
Brothers and Sisters, that is my desire and my hope, too—that our faith and testimonies of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will develop and grow until we, too “walk in the light of God our, Father”. And that walk, I believe, is “reverent living”.
1- L. Lionel Kendrick, “Enhancing Our Temple Experience,” Liahona, Jul 2001
2- Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
3- Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
4- Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976
5- David O McKay, Conference Report, Oct. 1956
6- L. Tom Perry, “Our Prophets and Apostles Speak to Us: Reverence,” Liahona, Mar 2002
7-Marion G. Romney, “Converting Knowledge into Wisdom,” Tambuli, Oct 1983
8- D&C 29:34
9- LDS Hymns # 193, “I Stand All Amazed”
10- L. Tom Perry, “Our Prophets and Apostles Speak to Us: Reverence,” Liahona, Mar 2002
11- Idea from See Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976
12- 2 Nephi 28:30
13- D&C 93:12-13, and idea from D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” Liahona, Jun 2006, 28–31
14- Gordon B Hinckley, “Reverence and Morality”
15- D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” Liahona, Jun 2006, 28–31
16- Earl Swain, CES Director at BYU-I Devotional, 18 March 2008
17- Moses 1:16
18- John 2: 13-17
19- Marion G. Romney, “Reverence,” Ensign, Oct 1976, 2
20- Bruce R. McConkie, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Ensign, May 1985
21- The Bruce R McConkie Story, Joseph Fielding McConkie, Deseret Book, 2003
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Mothering During the Swing Shift--
Today I felt VERY good about an article that was published in The Church News on February 7th, 2009. It was a synopsis of a visit that Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President, recently made to California.
"Sister Beck said that she learned how to prioritize her time as a wife and mother while observing her father-in-law, a steel worker who at various times in his career worked the day, evening or night shift. She said she realized she (as a mother and wife) was working all three shifts simultaneously, and she had to prioritize the demands on her so she could provide the service her family most needed.
'The most valuable time of the day for a family,' Sister Beck said, 'is in the afternoon/evening shift.'
'Be at the top of your game on swing shift,' she said. 'People are hungry, people are teachable. You feed them; that's when you serve them the most. Plan for swing shift, and then work the rest of your day around that."
Isn't that nicely said? I love Sister Beck for putting it all into words for me.
Because I need to mother most intently during the swing shift, and because I want to "be at the top of (my) game" during those hours, I can use the middle of the day as preparation time. Doing so allows the afternoon and evening to be quality, undistracted time when the family is together.I understand what she is saying-- for several years now I have resisted being busy during the day hours. It seemed like I needed that time to do laundry, grocery shop, exercise, clean the house, and do other housekeeping so that I was ready to focus on the kids when they started coming home from school.
One way that I do that is by having a quiet time with Holden on most afternoons. We rest on my bed-- him with is garbage truck movie and I nap for a time. It makes such a difference in my energy level. I try not to feel guilty about it because it is so refreshing, but I often have to remind myself that I have short nights and get up at 5:30 am. I think that I earn my sluggish afternoon feeling.
Also, I've noticed, through error, that it doesn't work to have a solitary project I'm in the middle of during the afternoon and evenings either. Supervising and interacting means milling around with the kids and their friends, and taxi-ing for those hours. I save jobs for that time, like putting the garbage out, cleaning the kitchen, dinner preparation or weeding in the yard, so that I am working amongst the kids' play.
Anymore, I feel like I need to make the mornings and mid days less chaotic so that I can run the race when the kids get home. This line of thinking from Sister Beck makes me feel OK about that way of "planning" my days-- we just can't be going wild all the time and still have the energy we need to use the "swing shift" effectively.
But, like everything, it is always a balancing act-- I sure don't want to be poor steward of my day hours either.
"Sister Beck said that she learned how to prioritize her time as a wife and mother while observing her father-in-law, a steel worker who at various times in his career worked the day, evening or night shift. She said she realized she (as a mother and wife) was working all three shifts simultaneously, and she had to prioritize the demands on her so she could provide the service her family most needed.
'The most valuable time of the day for a family,' Sister Beck said, 'is in the afternoon/evening shift.'
'Be at the top of your game on swing shift,' she said. 'People are hungry, people are teachable. You feed them; that's when you serve them the most. Plan for swing shift, and then work the rest of your day around that."
Isn't that nicely said? I love Sister Beck for putting it all into words for me.
Because I need to mother most intently during the swing shift, and because I want to "be at the top of (my) game" during those hours, I can use the middle of the day as preparation time. Doing so allows the afternoon and evening to be quality, undistracted time when the family is together.I understand what she is saying-- for several years now I have resisted being busy during the day hours. It seemed like I needed that time to do laundry, grocery shop, exercise, clean the house, and do other housekeeping so that I was ready to focus on the kids when they started coming home from school.
One way that I do that is by having a quiet time with Holden on most afternoons. We rest on my bed-- him with is garbage truck movie and I nap for a time. It makes such a difference in my energy level. I try not to feel guilty about it because it is so refreshing, but I often have to remind myself that I have short nights and get up at 5:30 am. I think that I earn my sluggish afternoon feeling.
Also, I've noticed, through error, that it doesn't work to have a solitary project I'm in the middle of during the afternoon and evenings either. Supervising and interacting means milling around with the kids and their friends, and taxi-ing for those hours. I save jobs for that time, like putting the garbage out, cleaning the kitchen, dinner preparation or weeding in the yard, so that I am working amongst the kids' play.
Anymore, I feel like I need to make the mornings and mid days less chaotic so that I can run the race when the kids get home. This line of thinking from Sister Beck makes me feel OK about that way of "planning" my days-- we just can't be going wild all the time and still have the energy we need to use the "swing shift" effectively.
But, like everything, it is always a balancing act-- I sure don't want to be poor steward of my day hours either.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Beautiful Women
My sick-bed entertainment was nineteen episodes, of "Christy", a TV series from the 90's based on the book by Catharine Marshall. It is one of those pioneer dress classics that I like so much.I can't recommend it though because I watched 907 minutes with the idea that Christy would eventually marry that hunky preacher. What a disappointing end to have Christy standing in the field still trying to decide who she wanted, then..... the series was canceled. ugh.
But, I did tap down a note that I thought profound. The quote was said by the preacher's sister who was a strong, but quiet old-maid. She was speaking to a teenager girl who was wishing that she was as pretty and popular as the school teacher, Christy, was.
"I wish I was little, and pretty, and smelled good like a flower..."
And the response:
"We are led to believe that a woman should look a certain way. A woman can be pretty like a mountain, or a tree, or a river. She doesn't have to be a flower. And there are other important things in life like virtue, righteousness and service."
So, that is the gem from "Christy"-- beauty doesn't have to be dainty. It can be big and strong like mountains and rivers. I love that.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
He Remembers
He'd die of embarrassment if he knew I was posting this, but it was such an incredibly meaningful exchange to me that I can't resist...Ryan called me from the other room Sunday evening and told me to "hurry" to the computer.
"Look what I made. Do you remember?"
He had followed Trenton onto www.friend.lds.org and was coloring his very own sixteen-year-old version of the Mount Timpanogus Temple.
"Do you remember when we used to drive to Jazz Band in the mornings and the temple looked pink like this?"
I do. I do remember. And, I felt so grateful that he remembered, too.
First, I have talked of it often, but still can't get over the feeling of privilege at having had this gorgeous House of the Lord 500 yards from our front door. Even for just that short ten months, I can't even express how that proximity influenced my living. It made everything about life seem sacred: playing with the kids on the green space, sitting at soccer games, driving home in the dark with it's light as a beacon, and these early morning drives with Ryan.
Sacred is how living, and caring for a family should feel, and that temple brought those feelings to me in a way I haven't forgotten.
Second, Making the Jazz Band was the tender mercy of Ryan's Utah year at Mountain Ridge Junior High. After displacing him from a very secure Texas at twelve years old, a kind band director was willing to slurp him up and give him opportunities that gave him a place to fit in. Allowing him to be in early morning Jazz Band was such a kindness and transporting him there was an effort I wanted to make for him.
Even with that desire, that daily drive at seven am was a sacrifice. I was three, then four, then nine months pregnant, and then one, and two months post-partum during that school year. I felt terrible. The whole pregnancy I struggled with daily migraines, visual disturbances and extreme nausea. My heart raced faster than 110 bpm at rest and my blood pressure was skyrocketing. Then I had a c-section, divided nights with a newborn, and single parenting as Greg had moved to Arkansas in front of us.
I remember well getting out of bed each morning early, waking Ryan while the house slept on, and the two of us braving the Utah fall, winter (with it's snow and ice), then spring. Those morning drives from American Fork to Highland were so peaceful. It felt like Ryan, and me, and that temple, as it shined on, were the only things awake. Ryan was chatty and happy, and I was so grateful for his friendship. He didn't even seem to notice or mind my big, huge, Holden tummy, and he didn't seem embarrassed when I would wrap a fleece coat around my pajamas and we would run into Kohler's for fresh Jazz Band donuts.
Even though it was hard for me, it felt so good to be giving something to Ryan that he couldn't give himself. I never talked to him about it, and it really isn't that heroic, but hidden in a little part of my heart was the desire that someday he would understand that day after day, week after week, month after month labor of love.
With this little picture, I now know he remembers the pink, peaceful temple.... and that feels like enough.
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